Blog Post 6. Building Friendships for Mental Health
The power of friendship
There is something special about the way we laugh until our stomachs hurt with our friends. You know that laugh that leaves you wiping away your tears and realizing "wow, I needed that." Whether its the late night or after class vent sessions or just a simple text that said "thinking of you" friendship always has a way of grounding us on the days we need it most.
Friendship is one for the most powerful forms of connection that we are able to have, yet it is something that we often take for granted until we need them most. College, postgrad life, and every chapter in between can feel like a rollercoaster of new responsibilities and unknowns all around you. In the middle of all of that, the people who listen, laugh, hold our hands through all of the messy moments make all the difference.
Science is the best because it proves all of our points on why friendship is so amazing! All of the good hormones that make you have more energy, lowers stress, boost moods, all comes from seeing your friends. In other words spending time with the people who make you feel seen isn't just fun its medicine for your mind.
Making friends in new places is hard
No one really talks about how intimidating it can be to make friends as an adult. Our whole lives we have been pushed into similar situations where we know people or a least get a chance to meet people before the new start. Coming to college you are thrown into an environment miles away from your family, in a place where you may have met a few people online. It's scary. But you soon see people on your hall, you go up to the booth that caught your eye, and your one step closer to friendship. Post grad on the other hand is different. You survived and made new friends, sometimes for me it may be your best friends. You remember the day so vividly as all of your friends shake the hand of the president, the smiles, the laughing, the partying after. Suddenly the hardest part of post grad kicks in- goodbye. This word is the hardest as you now know a new start with new faces is near.
The trick is to start small and genuine. If you see someone walking by compliment their outfit, invite that one person you sit next to during class to go study. When you show up authentically people tend to notice more, that's where real friendship starts. College friendships often form in very unexpected ways, from group projects to late-night library study sessions. The hard thing about college friends is they can change and boy can they change fast. Some friendships are only going to last a semester where some will stand next to you on your wedding day. Be authentic but remember to protect yourself. Remember when you get the icky feeling about someone believe it, your gut is smart.
The post grad chapter. A time of life that brings new exciting adventures and what feels like a endless road of no's and silence. The structure of school disappears, and suddenly you are in a new city, at a new job, or maybe still living at home. Both bring equal amounts of stress. You might be sitting there scrolling through social media to see if everyone else has this whole thing figured out. (Spoiler: they don't.) The truth is making friends after college takes effort and patience. you have to create the new opportunities instead of waiting for the. Join local leagues, attend community events, or get involved with alumni or young professional groups. Keep saying yes to things even though it may seem uncomfortable. Most importantly, remind yourself that you’re not the only one craving connection. Everyone around you is looking for their people too.
Mental health and friendship
We often hear about self care in terms of bubble baths, journaling, or taking walks, but one of the most underrated forms of self care is taking time with your friends. Having people in your life who truly understand and support you can dramatically improve your mental well-being.
Friendships help reduce stress because they give you a safe place to process your emotions and experiences. When life feels just a little bit to heavy, a friend can remind you that you don't have to carry it all alone. They offer perspective, humor, and a sense of belonging, all things that improve your mental health in the long run. When you feel supported your body releases multiple chemicals that give you that calm energy.
When someone shows up to sit with you after a bad day, or the phone call that turned your mood around, its being reminded that you are valued, loved, and understood. Friendship doesn't erase mental health struggles but it can help you face them. It gives you the courage to open up and the strength to keep going.
Maintaining Healthy Friendships
As life moves forward, maintaining friendships can feel tricky. People move, schedules fill up, and priorities shift. Suddenly, you realize it's been months since you've checked on someone who used to be apart if your everyday. Healthy friendships don't happen automatically, they take time and intention to create and keep. Leaving that voice memo or sending that out of the blue text saying "I miss you" means more than anyone could think.
It's also okay to set boundaries, the best friendships are the ones where both people respect each others energy, time, and growth. If someone is constantly draining you, or only shows up when it is convenient to then it's okay to take that step back. It's also about quality not quantity. Having a few close, supportive friends is far more rewarding than knowing dozens of people on a casual level. Focus on the ones who cheer you on, hold you accountable, and make you feel like the best version of yourself.
As you grow, so will your friendships, some will deepen, some will fade, and new ones will appear. It's all apart of life, change doesn't mean failure, it means evolution. Friendships are the heart beat of our mental health. They remind us that even when life feels uncertain we are never truly alone.
Make the first move
Friendships are the heart beat of our mental health. They remind us that even when life feels uncertain we are never truly alone. Whether you are in college, starting your first job, or finding your way in a new city, the people who laugh with you, listen to you, reach out to you, and grow with you are what makes every stage of life a little bit brighter.
So here is your small but powerful challenge for today : reach out to one person.
Send that message saying hi to someone new or plan a coffee date. Connection doesn't just change your day, it can change your mind, mood, and your entire outlook. Because at the end of the day friendships aren't just about company, they are about community, courage, and care.
Thank you for reading!
To all of my amazing friends that have influenced this article. Thank you for your support, laughs, and most of all love. You have been the pillars of my life through every stage. I am so proud of each of you making your place in the world, thank you for constantly pushing me to become the best I can. No matter how long or how far, with true friends it feels like yesterday. I miss each of you.
Check back next week for the second to last blog post!
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